Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
