I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
