i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
