that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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