Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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