Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
