I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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