I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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