He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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