Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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