Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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