Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
