Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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