8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
