Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
