Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
