He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
