I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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