So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
