stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
