I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
