I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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