i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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