When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Green mimosas i think yes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
