Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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