I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
