did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
