Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
