So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
