Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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