Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
my sisters under your porch take her home
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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