We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
id be glad to
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
