not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
