And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
