Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
