Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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