i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
