mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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