I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
