what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
