Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I could fuck to npr.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
