I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
