just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
