I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The beer is more important than you right now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
