Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
