On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
