just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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