'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
