haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
