Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
